Adversity makes you stronger

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” Maya Angelou, Yes I am writing about this inspiring lady, for whom eighty is the new twenty . In the lines of Henry Ford- "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. ” – She has never let tears and emotions defeat her cheerful disposition.She has seen eighty-four springs in her life and hopes to witness many more such springs. This is none other than Ms Kalpana Rani Verma whose other name would be resilience.Born in 1939 in Kapurthala, Punjab in a family of eight siblings, she was the second eldest child and her early life was spent in Shimla, Kolkata and then Delhi on account of her father's postings. He worked for a government organization, so postings were a regular part of his work. As a child she witnessed several gory happenings. For a little girl witnessing bombings over the city of Kolkata by the Japanese forces during the second world war was quite heart wrenching. Her memory is all about surviving on boiled potatoes for days together . Finally they shifted to Delhi from Kolkata in 1946. After shifting to Delhi, she attended Mahatma Gandhi’s prayer meets and took active part in children rallies during the Quit India Movement along with her younger siblings, She witnessed the strategies used by our patriotic leaders to get rid of the British rule in India. As an eight year old she witnessed riots during the partition, the carnage left a deep impact on her mind. Seeing people being burnt alive and bodies scattered all around felt horrific. But she emerged stronger. .Adversity is like a body punch. But overcoming hard times is what builds resilience in a person. *You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” – This is what this young lady did.She learnt to catch the curved balls thrown at her with a smile. Kalpana Ji did her schooling and college in Delhi. During her final year of graduation in 1962 she was married off to Sh Mohan Lal Verma who was working with Indian Railways and posted in a small town of Gujarat. Despite being brought up in a metropolitan city, she quickly and readily adapted herself to living a town life.Her early years of marriage were full of happiness.Her marital family adored her. Her husband being at a high post had a retinue of servants who managed all the household chores for her. Instead of whiling away her time, she took to learning new things. She learnt crocheting basket weaving and handicraft making from the local ladies.. she perfected the culinary art and was praised for her gourmet dishes. It is said all good things don't last forever. Once the honeymoon period was over she developed fertility issues which started tormenting her. Going through several medical procedures she was at last blessed with a daughter in 1978. She was leading a happy and contented life when tragedy struck her in1989, They were twin tragedies which broke her.First her MIL passed away on 18th January 1989 and then her loving husband passed away in the same year in the month of November leaving her totally alone. Now she had the sole responsibility of rearing her only child . *We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”– Kenji Miyazawa It was not an easy task.She was broken but it was her mother and brothers who supported her through thick and thin. She managed to procure a job in the railways on compassionate grounds. She did this to give her daughter a good future. It was in the year 1990 when she begun the job. Six months into the job another she received another blow. Her elder sister passed away leaving the family in a shock. Her mother couldn't come to terms with the tragedy and became paralyzed.She was bedridden till she passed away in the year 1992.. This lady took everything in her stride and cared for her mother till the end. After her mother's demise she decided to buy an independent house for her daughter and herself from her savings. It was at this juncture she met with another blow. She was diagnosed with lumbar spine tuberculosis a life threatening disease. She was bedridden and morose as doctors had given upon her. The daughter them only a high school student managed to look after the house and mother single handedly. Her daughter 's prayers and her strong will to beat the disease helped her sail through . She bounced back once again with renewed vigour and joined her job back in 1995 and worked till 1999. She got her daughter married in the year 2005 to a boy of her daughter 's choice. She has lived life on her own terms. The key to life is accepting challenges. Once someone stops doing this, he’s dead.” – Bette Davis The seventies was the time she decided to reboot life.She started living for herself indulging in healthy activities like morning walks, gardening, eating healthy, getting regular health checks. Keep herself abreast with the stock market became a passion. Enjoying every minute of life has been her mantra. But it seems life seems to test her every now and then. When things started coming on track she met with a near fatal accident in 2020 while alighting from a train. She fractured her femur and had to undergo an immediate surgery due to which she was bedridden for a full month. She is an example of the never say die attitude Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a new way to stand.” – Oprah Winfrey Going to turn eighty- five soon , this mother and grandmother of three is destined to live life king size and face every adversity with a smile. A tribute to the mother on the occasion of Mother's Day in her daughter Ashu Verma 's words- A woman who………. Fought her situations to gain early education against the winds of her time. Confronted perplexities at every juncture, still brims with life. Who fought infertility for years before being blessed with a baby. After losing her husband, hid tears behind her smile and solely nurtured her child. Despite being bedridden after contracting a deadly disease, with her determination sprung back to life. Fought the society and backed her daughter always, letting her live her dreams. She has seen eighty-four springs and desires to see many more seasons A woman who….. Boldly accepted a lonely life Developed new hobbies to spend her time Bounced back after a major accident. Loves to be independent even at this age A woman who's…… Keen to learn new concepts Is spiritual but scientific. Not familiar with new age advancements but with her experience and confidence is capable of enlightening young alpha minds. She's my mother Her life's a true inspiration Not only for me but many others" Kalpana Verma's mantra to live life is. - * Life is a choice between aging and growing Aging adds years to life and Growing adds life to years. Live your life and forget your age." A perfect ode to this inspiring mom on the occasion of Mother's Day. Dr Preeti Talwar.